I was trained with the words regulated and dysregulated as well. I’ve come to understand that the goal isn’t to be regulated, but to be in accurate response to what’s happening. To be vigilant when needed, rest when needed, etc. Dysregulation often is just referring to not this, like not being able to sleep when it’s time to rest, etc. In addition, I think about it also like being able to broaden when we’ve gone so deep it’s hard to be present, what we do when we’re flooded with a memory or feeling. These are my thoughts in response to what you shared.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, EK! I appreciate that and I also wonder about the nuance and complexity of what the "accurate response" to what is happening is. If I feel quiet when current events are calling for us to speak up, am I regulated? Or if I feel loud or expressed in a space where the appropriate thing is to be quiet, am I dysregulated? These are some of my curiosities that sit beside the binary words we commonly use.
Totally. What’s accurate will be different for different people there isn’t one accurate response to each experience or encounter or event. I think of accurate for that person ie aligned w what they want or need or intend
I LOOOOVED listening to you read/share this piece, Chetna. I resonate deeply with the moments of impassioned expression where I access so much aliveness and then immediately am met with the fear or borderline regret / embarrassment of having been “too much.” Thank you for the invitation to lean in, to nurture, to shift our language and challenge the sometimes easy to latch on to dominant narratives of “wellness” based on “regulation.” I never loved the term regulation but do love feeling like I can bring my body and spirit into balance and trust the rising and falling process it takes to get there ✨🙏🏽
Thank you for this beautiful piece, Chetna! I love reading this and feel aligned. I’ve also been consciously using “harmonizing” instead or “regulating” for my nervous system. ❤️❤️❤️💌
Thank you for sharing this!! I’m always interrogating the layers behind the words we adopt as healers with indigenous traditions who have to practice our work in the shadow of western languages. So, thinking about the word regulation being applied to our nervous systems was insightful. I feel like lately I’ve been drawn more to earth based languaging like grounding & softening when it comes to my internal state.
This is all so good... As I sit with it, it seems like you somewhat have to be dysregulated (or shook!) to actually speak truth to a colonized cultural way that is not all good, or as faith folks might call it - speaking a prophetic word!.. Then, it also makes me wonder if the whole sports world has developed so deep because this "activity" is a constant way to get back into your body, out of your monkey-brain head; and, somewhat regulate. (tho, sports has also seemed to become big business, and plantation-like with professional-capitalistic ways, whatever all of that really is!).
Thank you for giving us permission and an example of how to challenge and grow our own understanding and beliefs. In the moments I confront deep coping patterns that no longer serve me, I’m usually not regulated. My anxiety flares up. Grounding practices help me stay in the moment. Nurturing afterwards provides reassurance that I am cared for.
Thank you Andrea, I appreciate your distinction between grounding and nurturing...big exhale at reading how it provides reassurance that you're cared for 💜
I was trained with the words regulated and dysregulated as well. I’ve come to understand that the goal isn’t to be regulated, but to be in accurate response to what’s happening. To be vigilant when needed, rest when needed, etc. Dysregulation often is just referring to not this, like not being able to sleep when it’s time to rest, etc. In addition, I think about it also like being able to broaden when we’ve gone so deep it’s hard to be present, what we do when we’re flooded with a memory or feeling. These are my thoughts in response to what you shared.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, EK! I appreciate that and I also wonder about the nuance and complexity of what the "accurate response" to what is happening is. If I feel quiet when current events are calling for us to speak up, am I regulated? Or if I feel loud or expressed in a space where the appropriate thing is to be quiet, am I dysregulated? These are some of my curiosities that sit beside the binary words we commonly use.
Totally. What’s accurate will be different for different people there isn’t one accurate response to each experience or encounter or event. I think of accurate for that person ie aligned w what they want or need or intend
Like speaking up when I want or need or intend to, being able to sleep when it’s time to, etc
I LOOOOVED listening to you read/share this piece, Chetna. I resonate deeply with the moments of impassioned expression where I access so much aliveness and then immediately am met with the fear or borderline regret / embarrassment of having been “too much.” Thank you for the invitation to lean in, to nurture, to shift our language and challenge the sometimes easy to latch on to dominant narratives of “wellness” based on “regulation.” I never loved the term regulation but do love feeling like I can bring my body and spirit into balance and trust the rising and falling process it takes to get there ✨🙏🏽
thanks for sharing LaRae! Appreciate you naming the trust in "the rising and falling process it takes" to get to regulation, thank you 💜
Thank you for this beautiful piece, Chetna! I love reading this and feel aligned. I’ve also been consciously using “harmonizing” instead or “regulating” for my nervous system. ❤️❤️❤️💌
Thank you for sharing this!! I’m always interrogating the layers behind the words we adopt as healers with indigenous traditions who have to practice our work in the shadow of western languages. So, thinking about the word regulation being applied to our nervous systems was insightful. I feel like lately I’ve been drawn more to earth based languaging like grounding & softening when it comes to my internal state.
I love that, Salem. Softening is such a beautiful word and felt sense.
This is all so good... As I sit with it, it seems like you somewhat have to be dysregulated (or shook!) to actually speak truth to a colonized cultural way that is not all good, or as faith folks might call it - speaking a prophetic word!.. Then, it also makes me wonder if the whole sports world has developed so deep because this "activity" is a constant way to get back into your body, out of your monkey-brain head; and, somewhat regulate. (tho, sports has also seemed to become big business, and plantation-like with professional-capitalistic ways, whatever all of that really is!).
So beautiful 🩵 thank you for showing up vulnerably, authenicly, and sharing it with us all.
Today I regulated by crawling inside an oak tree burl
Thank you for giving us permission and an example of how to challenge and grow our own understanding and beliefs. In the moments I confront deep coping patterns that no longer serve me, I’m usually not regulated. My anxiety flares up. Grounding practices help me stay in the moment. Nurturing afterwards provides reassurance that I am cared for.
Thank you Andrea, I appreciate your distinction between grounding and nurturing...big exhale at reading how it provides reassurance that you're cared for 💜