Longing without Chasing
"Blessed be the longing that…quickens your soul with wonder"
Longing can be painful, searing, aching and chronic, especially when we are in a cycle of trying to fix it or avoid it.
I say WE because, longing and chasing to soothe our longings- say for connection, guidance, stability, safety, love, freedom- is so…utterly, ordinarily, inevitably human.
The content of our human longings may show up in the material world as striving hard to get a job, searching desperately for a particular kind of partner, sacrificially craving approval and acceptance, searching for a mentor, teacher or savior to put on a pedestal, mourning the poetry that doesn’t flow from oneself like it used to, even at one end of the spectrum- judging and cancelling others for a sense of power- to the other side of the spectrum- killing and slaughtering others for a sense of power.
There’s a lot there, but maybe…
The content of our longings- which seems to give us something to chase after- doesn’t hold as much gold as the Longing itself.
I don’t know about you, but when I look at just the content of my longings, I am easily spun to relentlessly pursue those things; to chase the job (sometimes whatever job), to chase the partners, friends, the embraces, to chase the mentors and teachers, to chase the fix (whether it be the fix of being “right”, of being in “control”, of being validated, of being high, drunk, numb), to chase the drama, violence and dominance…
* D e e p s i g h *
I’ve also noticed how that chase never ends.
Cue in the HUNGRY GHOSTS.
In Buddhism, and Chinese traditional religion, Hungry Ghosts are constantly plagued by insatiable hunger and thirst; their tiny mouths and large, bloated stomachs symbolize their inability to satisfy their cravings despite their constant consumption…
When I am reacting to my longings, I am tediously chasing for more and more and more, thinking that that thing will feed this deep, big-bellied void of HUNGER within me.
When longing can feel like such a deep soul-ache, chasing, striving and achieving can feel like a protective armoring; an illusion of shielding, a sweet treat, and a temporal distraction from the ache.
And it may be so, for a short while, until the hungry longing sets in again.
“When you befriend this longing,
it will keep you awake and alert
to why you are here on earth.
It will intensity your journey
but also liberate you from the need
to go on many seductive
but futile quests.”John O’Donohue
Here’s a gorgeous song and invitation from Feroza Cayetano at
, an alum of Creative Somatic Alchemy and Conscious Creators, to lay the armor down and listen to the heart… the seat of our longing.In a post about Longing as Portal published a few weeks ago, I shared an experience of being with the somatic expressions of my longing. Through a mindful journey in the portal of my longing, I felt into an erotic creativity, a presence, and a clearing.
In the October Alchemy Circle on the same theme, a few beloved subscribers and I gave space to our longings, we danced with the longing, and we found such clarity, awe, love and truth, beyond the content of the longings.
When I met with
and Nico on the Mosaiceye team later that day to talk about this upcoming purpose workshop on Clarifying Our North Star, the theme of longing as a portal carried forth; and we excitedly illuminated so many of our deepest values and guides for action in the very longings that we spent time with! It was magical and I can’t wait for us to process more together in the workshop.When we have the courage to listen, our longings can serve as a compass, a lift of the chin up to a North Star that keeps “us awake and alert to why we are here on earth.”
Clarifying Your North Star: A workshop for women and non-binary changemakers to energize, strategize and tangibilize purpose on Saturday, 11/11 from 12:30 - 2:30pm PST
Our north star symbolizes direction, guidance, stability and purpose with its fixed position relative to other stars. Being clear of our north star in life, love, and work helps us remain grounded and guided in the midst of cosmic chaos.
Through exploring our longings, identifying some of our heart’s deepest values, and recognizing aligned practices already present in our lives, we celebrate and activate the path lit by our purpose.
This workshop leverages Somatics, expressive healing arts and mindfulness to bring forth clarity, purpose and creativity. You’ll walk away with tangible next steps and action to embody your brightest chosen star.
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