Winter Body

Permission and slowness in bitter times

Fun fact: my head has been heavy with achey-ness and sticky mucus for over 2 weeks now. I’ve broken down into tears at least 3 times in the midst of multiple fevers, shaking with self-pity and longing for my mommy to rub Vicks vapor rub on my back and chest before tucking me in. 😭

Beyond that though, I’m actually grateful for the permission (and demand) that this flu is giving me to reschedule meetings, block off my calendar, and work from home bed at 3pm (in fact, I’m wrapped in fleece and mostly horizontal as I write this). This flu is giving permission to do the “minimum” AND to feel accomplished doing the “minimum” (whatever that is).

I love Winter for that same reason; Winter gives permission (and for me, it doesn’t necessarily come with the muscle aches and coughing fits).

Winter gives permission to slow down.
Winter gives permission to burrow and rest.
Winter gives permission to hibernate and retreat.

Animals, including us human types, have the evolutionary and biological tendency to build warm nests, savor dormancy, sleep longer and adapt our diet to the season.

When I receive the permission of Winter, I can appreciate how my body naturally mimics nature. My hair sheds more like the leaves of a tree, and grows slowly like my indoor snake plants. Like a bear, I personally have no desire to be out gathering (unless it’s in a cozy atmosphere with warm food and bountiful hugs, and requires me to leave the house no later than 6pm). Like a deer, my metabolism slows down a bit…and unlike a deer, my love-handles shine. My mood also sometimes reflects the dark tones of the sky.

If I’m making my Winter body a problem, and judging my “lack of” productivity, my “bulging waistline”, my “anti-socialness”, or my gloomy feelings, this season can be a bitter drag (like second arrow suffering).

When we’re immersed in fast-moving, capitalist systems that problematize these natural responses, it is apparently radical and courageous to be at peace with the slowness of Winter. While our bodies may call for less work and more rest to move at the pace of ecological systems, economical systems and societal expectations don’t necessarily shift with nature. And when the world is on fire and the need to stay active and present in our social justice movements feel urgent and necessary, slowing down can seem self-indulgent or complicit, and even more pain, guilt or shame ensues.

My friend, Yoo-Jin shared a beautifully relevant book with me recently, Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May.

"The experience of wintering is not a passive one.

It's a vibrant experience of living through the dormant period with presence, with courage, and with commitment…

Wintering brings about some of the most profound and insightful moments of our human experience, and wisdom comes from the ability to glean value from those darker times."

Katherine May

When I’m going fast and getting shit done and crossing things off lists and doing that and this and moving at the pace of my witty mind and keeping busy, there are parts of me that feel worthy and important. It’s almost addictive.

And when I get an opportunity to go slow, do little, and move at the pace of my body, my inner critic can reel with attack, even as other parts of me long for slow, spacious rest.

But I’ve noticed that intentionally- even ritualistically, acknowledging a shift into slowness helps me release the fast and embrace the slow; much like the routine of putting pajamas on and brushing my teeth each night (mostly) helps me ease into rest.

Peacefully moving into an experience of wintering requires mindful intention to receive the permission.

For example, coming home from a full day of fun social activity and taking a few present deep breaths before I step over the threshold at the door helps me embrace a home full of empty, quiet solitude rather than being confronted by a sense of loneliness in comparison to where I was the hour prior.

Honoring the solstice and Winter season with some self-reflection and reassessment of my devotions and commitments allows me to better set myself up for success relevant to nature now, rather than to the nature of past seasons.

So, on this solstice and longest night of the year, may we light a candle, make a cup of something warm and sweet, and prepare ourselves to receive the permission that our Winter bodies might already be giving us. 🍵 💕

Love, peace and fleece,
Chetna

Art for a peaceful cause:

All profits from this print, “Peaceful Pomegranates”, go to benefit the work and mission of Tomorrow’s Women, a 20-year old organization and partner with the Alliance for Middle East Peace. Tomorrow’s Women trains young women from Palestine, Israel, and the United States to be compassionate leaders who partner to resolve conflicts and inspire action for equality, peace, and justice for all.

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