Off with the head...for Creation

Ego death and pleasure activism with Chhinnamasta

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Nov 18, 2024

Who do we turn to for guidance when the ugliness and violence embedded in the empire keeps being unveiled? When the Divided States of America reveal in blazing red the present and forthcoming destruction and disturbia?

In a series on Embodying Shakti that we- Lakshmi and Chetna- are facilitators and participants in, we are turning to the Dasha Mahavidyas (10 Tantric Goddesses) as mirrors and teachers. These Mahavidyas embody both Saumya (gentle, beautiful, beneficent) and Ugra (fierce, ugly, and taboo, cognate with the English word ogre). Archetypes of Kali, Tara, Tripura Sundari, Bhuvaneshwari, Bhairavi, and more shine on us as stunning figures of the sacred and the profane.

Disrupting and dreaming with Chhinnamasta

In our most recent invocation, we sat with the Ugra Mahavidya, Chhinnamasta. The image of Chhinnamasta is highly evocative and dreamlike in its surrealism. Her deepest teachings are encoded in the visual itself. So we sat in a dream circle with her image and harvested what emerged for each of us, as if we had dreamt her.

When researching Chhinnamasta, we found that the most common interpretations of her reinforced narratives of self-sacrifice and conquering sexual desire for higher spiritual attainment. We cannot help but wonder how these interpretations of Chhinnamasta (and all the Mahavidyas) have been colored by Brahminical Patriarchy. Brahminical Patriarchy is the underlying oppression within Hinduism and the roots of casteism, colorism, patriarchy and communalism that have plagued Indian society for centuries. Brahminical Patriarchy likely has its origins in an ancient subjugation of the indigenous peoples of the subcontinent by patriarchal tribes from the Central Asian steppes thousands of years ago. It’s the same framework that underlies India's fascist right wing Hindu supremacist agendas today.

For me, Lakshmi, the interpretations of self-sacrifice and sexual denial fell flat. I feel like I’ve lived the first 50 years of my life according to those ideals, reinforced by my culture, which has been molded over millennia by Brahminical Patriarchy, and it only led me to severe burnout. When I was married, I defaulted to letting my husband’s desires, sexual and otherwise, dominate. As a yoga teacher, I was stretching myself thin by working too many hours for too little compensation out of a genuine desire to help but at the expense of my own energy. As a mother, I was only constantly thinking about my children. In all cases, I forgot myself, and at the same time egoically thinking self sacrifice was making me “good” or noble. I was rarely at home, always attending to the needs of others, eating Taco Bell in my car on the run, and eventually getting really sick. I reached a point where I felt like I ran out of gas in the middle of the road. When the pandemic happened, it seemed like my prayers of desperation for the world to stop were answered. It was a dramatic occurrence to force me, and us, to slow down. I began to see that though I was doing meaningful work that I loved, I was martyring myself to it. I was forced to recognize that I was no good to anyone when I could barely even take a shower. If Ma Chhinnamasta stands for self-denial, I could not find any resonance or inspiration in that.

We made the decision as facilitators to allow the Goddess to speak directly to us as if she appeared to us in a dream. As we held her image, we dared to see her with open hearts and soft eyes, and to undoubtedly receive what she was giving to each of us. In our communal sharing, a common message emerged: Chhinnamasta embodies non-egoic pleasure, vitality and sexuality in generative service to creation.

Creation Begets Creation

Chhinnamasta stands on a couple having sex. It’s Kamadeva (the God of Love/Sexual Desire) and Rati (the Goddess of Sensual Pleasure). Rati is always depicted on top. We see this not as a renouncement of sexuality but as an acknowledgment of creation, divine union, life force energy, and generative pleasure. On top of that, pun intended 😉, Rati, the Goddess of Sensual Pleasure is in the dominant position. Far from needing to be conquered, this union guided by empowered self-directed sensual pleasure is the foundation from which Ma Chinnamasta draws power.

In many common interpretations, instead of being described as a lovemaking couple, Kamadeva and Rati are described as a “fornicating couple” (despite being “married” or partnered in Hindu mythology); belying a kind of puritanical (or Brahminical Patriarchal) judgment of their activity. What emerged for our group in Embodying Shakti was an interdependence between inner divine feminine and masculine, mother and father, yinyang, ShivaShakti. The erotic here is sacred creation, a grounding from which Chhinnamasta rises flooded with an abundance that spills out in streams of blood. This life force circulates generative, sustaining energy—red, earthy, and boundless.

Throughout the Mahavidya imagery, starting with Kali, decapitated heads worn as a garland are ubiquitous and representative of conquering ego. Ego is that part (in all of us) that’s obsessed and attached to our identities, to self-preservation and control. Chhinnamasta is the only Mahavidya who cuts off her own head. To us, it felt so much more powerful to see the Goddess recognizing her own ego as no different from the heads she wears on her neck- of all the ego(s) she has conquered.

With her decapitated ego, her life force pours up and outward allowing “that power which rises from our deepest and non-rational knowledge” (as Audre Lorde called it in "Uses of the Erotic”). Three prominent bloodlines stream out of her, alluding to the 3 central energy channels in the Tantric conception of the energy body: the Ida, Pingala, and Sushumna Nadis. With this vital essence flowing, Chhinnamasta feeds her own haloed head and her two dakinis. In this imagery, there is radical surrender to such orgasmic currents, a circularity of energy that sustains both herself and others.

I, Chetna, am reminded of when I feel an achy longing, say while alone on a Saturday night, that can easily trigger disembodied swipes on dating apps, doom-scrolling on the gram or binging late-nite snacks and Netflix. My longing often appears to seek love and safety from other people, unconditional acceptance and belonging. But I continue to learn that deeper within my longing is a yearning for divine union, like that symbolized beneath Chinnamasta’s feet. When I can stand mindfully with my longing as an intrinsic well of energy, and observe how it wants to move in my body (rather than attempting to comfort my ego by getting rid of the longing with external chases), the ache of it often alchemizes into chills and streams of nutrient-rich compassion, tender connection and even artistic epiphanies.

We’re choosing to see Chhinnamasta as a reflection of prioritizing creativity and pleasure, not as hedonistic indulgence or avoidance, but as sources of strength and sustenance for ourselves and those around us. She releases attachment to the logical, fearful and scarcity-minded ego, and taps into vital creative flow that gives divine and fertile nourishment.

Chhinnamasta invites us on a path of “Pleasure Activism”

In many of the images of Chhinnamasta, the tongue of her decapitated head and the tongues of her drinking dakinis are out in eager, unabashed receptivity. Sometimes, the facial expressions are joyful or blissed out. As Adrienne Maree Brown wrote, “pleasure is a measure of freedom; notice what makes you feel good and what you are curious about; learn ways you can increase the amount of feeling-good time in your life, to have abundant pleasure...”

Chhinnamasta cuts off the head of intellect, judgment, fearfulness, ego and separation, and Brown continues, “decrease any internal or projected shame or scarcity thinking around the pursuit of pleasure, quieting any voices of trauma that keep you from your full sacred sensual life; create more room for joy, wholeness, and aliveness (and less room for oppression, repression, self-denial and unnecessary suffering) in your life; identify strategies beyond denial or repression for navigating pleasure in relationship to others; and begin to understand the liberation possible when we collectively orient around pleasure and longing.”

Dismantle oppressive structures by reclaiming pleasure and honoring the erotic as a source of our power? Chhinnamasta, to us, is all about it. She reminds us that feeding ourselves is not ego. It is necessary to sustain our life-giving work. Is it any wonder then that status quo interpretations try to erase or downplay this radical imagining?

Perhaps you also hear the resounding calling to show up fully and robustly. Maybe you too are wondering how to contribute without being captive to cycles of burn-out. To us, Chhinnamasta inspires us to stand in the fecundity of our life force without the ego of indoctrinated notions and limitations. She invites us to let our rivers of orgasmic creativity and vitality flow outward, trusting that what nourishes us will nourish the world.

So dear reader, here are some reflection questions for you, inspired by Chhinnamasta. Feel free to share any of your reflections in the comments!

What comes up for you as you see these images and interpretations of Chhinnamasta?
How does your ego or intellect get in the way of your pleasure and creativity?
How are your pleasure practices feeding you and those around you?
How does cultivating your bliss nourish radical and alternative world-building?