Relaxed Concentration

In the games of tennis, life and liberation

The other day, my friend Ajay kicked my ass in tennis.

When he first suggested we play a game after 20 minutes of rallying, I immediately tensed up.

On the low, my inner critic was chiming in…“you suck when we keep score. You can’t just hit the ball around though, that’s boring! You’re gonna lose though.”

So through gritted teeth, I agreed.

Even though I’ve been playing tennis since I was 7, competed on my high school JV team, and participated in social leagues in my adulthood, it had been awhile since I’d played a scored game.

Anyway…the game ended in an embarrassingly sweeping loss on my part…0-6.

So naturally, I went home and consulted my library.

Decades ago, a woman named Joan who I babysat for gave me a book called The Inner Game of Tennis. Within a few pages, I found the words:

“The player of the inner game comes to value the art of relaxed concentration above all other skills; he discovers a true basis for self-confidence; and he learned that the secret to winning any game lies in not trying too hard.

He aims at the kind of spontaneous performance which occurs only when the mind is calm and seems at one with the body, which finds its own surprising way to surpass its own limits again and again. moreover, while overcoming the common hang-ups of competition, the player of the inner game uncovers a will to win which unlocks all his energy and which is never discouraged by losing.

There is far more natural and effective process for learning and doing almost anything than most of us realize. It is similar to the process we all used, but soon forgot, as we learned to walk and talk. it used the intuitive capabilities of the mind and both the right and left hemispheres of the brain. this process doesn’t have to be learned; we already know it. all that is needed is to unlearn those habits which interfere with it and then to just let it happen.”

W. Timothy Galleway
The Inner Game of Tennis

As I read this, I thought, “holy shit, I facilitate this with my clients every day in relation to their (and our) spiritual activism and healing work…” and “surely I could embody it in a simple game of tennis!” (lol… I was still trying to compensate for that brutal loss).

In reality, relaxed concentration applies to a whole lot of life stuff beyond the court.

I realized that I practice this way of relaxed concentration in other tasks or engagements through my day to day like washing dishes, playing Bansuri to myself, watering my plants, listening to my clients and asking reflective questions.

Turns out that when we’re in “relaxed concentration”, our brain waves, nervous systems, muscles, heart rate, breathing, hormones, immunity and emotions (and so much more) are all highly impacted…

Relaxed concentration is a powerful resilience tool in our creativity, healing and activism.

In writing this piece about relaxed concentration, I’m noticing a deeper well of energy and joy as I hold the intention of it. I trust that this piece will come together without me pushing it, I feel my mind ease a bit and that “wakeful rest” brings spaciousness and even pleasure between me and the screen.

In creative practice, relaxed concentration helps me and us access more of a flow state, where natural innovation and utter delight in the process emerge.

I think about the relaxed concentration of yoga- there’s no force or rigidity, it’s a gentle centering on the breath and letting the body move to it’s edge. In that, our flexibility expands and stretches according to the pace of body and trust.

In relation to my personal healing work lately, I’ve been praying for the courage and resilience to be open and accepting of what is. To me, that means releasing the efforting again and again toward insatiable growth, development and perfection. There is a time and place for effort and action and Yang energy, but for me lately, Yin and receptivity and simply allowing has been my medicine. I’ve had Healing is Not My Purpose by Toni Jones on repeat and it offers me respite and glee. Paradoxically, in not trying so hard to heal or fix or “win” in the ways I think I should, I find myself more free and joyful and energized.

With clients lately, I’ve been intentional with weaving in more humor and release alongside the gravity of tending to intergenerational trauma, climate degradation, attachment wounds, depression, anxiety and dysregulation by naming how utterly human it is to struggle with certain things, to laugh hard about the absurdities, and to let go the intense grasp on “fixing” any of it ASAP.

When the stakes are high and the issues are urgent in our tireless efforts to organize and respond, the cycles of burnout, conflict, and second arrow suffering are far too prevalent. I wonder how relaxed concentration in our activism could help us release the grips of rigidity, urgency, binary thinking, divisiveness and perfectionism.

What if relaxed concentration was a prioritized tool and practice in our struggles for justice and liberation?

• What if, with intention and devotion, we started our gatherings with a few minutes of deep breaths together, allowing everyone to center themselves and release even some tension before getting into the hard stuff, no matter how hard or urgent it feels?

• What if we approached our differences by holding all of what’s present rather than grasping onto what we think is “right”? I think often about what Lama Rod shared on the C4L podcast about holding the chaos, versus it holding us.

• What if we held our gatherings or parts of our gatherings outdoors when possible, collaborating with nature to help us all stay grounded and centered?

• What if during shared meals or snacks, we encouraged mindful eating practices, focusing on the sensory experience of the food to cultivate presence and relaxation?

• What if we valued silent time together and included periods of quiet reflection in our collective meetings to allow us and our bodies to process information with minimized stimulation, even in the presence of other bodies?

I wonder what innovation, wisdom and insight would come from these types of activist gatherings that cultivate collective relaxed concentration, just by way of the body being included and trusted to find its own surprising ways to surpass personal and collective oppressions; even as we recognize the urgent necessity for dramatic change.

While relaxed concentration and whatever it ain’t (say "anxious controlling") are not binaries and rather a spectrum of being that we may naturally dance on, it helps me to see how I might be acting or thinking in accordance with one end more than another.

Embodying a relaxed concentration…

I’m noticing how even just holding “relaxed concentration” as an intention is powerful in and of itself. My body and mind have 36 years of data on the innate ability of relaxed concentration to respond to the intention, even subtly, and often immediately.

Here are some practices I’ve been playing with for relaxed concentration:

• Make conscious the intention for relaxed concentration; set it and choose it in my mind and mind’s eye

• Practice deep, steady breathing; this disrupts urgent thoughts or behaviors

• Maintain a relaxed posture; even if I don’t feel relaxed, I could put my body in a posture of relaxation and let my mind align

• Guide the mind back to the task at hand; as many times as needed, to focus on what’s here and now

• Let go of trying so hard; notice the tension in my body of trying hard, give my shoulders, jaw, belly, any other parts that are grasping the permission to let it go, as many times as needed

• Trust my body’s natural abilities and intelligence; my mind doesn’t have to figure it all out or know the answers, I have many sources of wisdom, skill and adaptation available to me in my body

By embracing relaxed concentration, can we create more present and embodied spaces for collective healing? Can we be more resilient and free in our dissolving of intergenerational and systemic trauma cycles? Can we find more pleasure and discovery in our life’s processes in ways that organically empower ourselves and future generations?

I trust this practice of relaxed concentration is not just about winning tennis games, though I will report back on how it goes the next time I play a scored game with relaxed concentration! 🎾

Perhaps relaxed concentration is also one accessible way to tap into our true potential in all aspects of life, enabling us to surpass our deeply-engrained personal and societal limits again and again…

Relevant gatherings and resources:

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